The Inside Man reviewed

The Inside Man

Tired, dull and painstakingly stupid, Spike Lee would have needed an act of God to save this film.

Dear Mr. Lee,

I know times have been hard for you and apparently the three other minority film directors in Hollywood right now, and after your disaster of a movie She Hate Me, just about everyone for once had a reason to have it in for you. The ultimate solution comes through with the film Inside Man. It's the perfect template for a Hollywood genre movie that will surely bring in the most money out of any film you've ever made (and probably will ever make), and with its cast of surefire A-list actors you might actually *gulp* crack into the mainstream audience for the first time since people learned that "Plymouth rock landed on us." So what do you do with a conceptually great movie that follows an all-too-familiar Hollywood pattern? That's right, you do everything you can to make it better, and bless you for doing so. It's funny in a way, I mean, you've worked with Denzel Washington since the beginning of time it seems-- and long before he was known simply as "Denzel"-- and now, what the hell's happened to him? I know he's gotta be your main man and everything, but you've got to tell him that not every movie calls for him to act like the amalgam of all of his prior roles (if you don't think there's any truth to this, I want you to watch Denzel act in every movie from "Crimson Tide" on and come back to me). On the plus side you do have Willem Dafoe and Clive Owen who can both make just about any role relatively interesting. Then there's Jodie Foster... yeah.
Anyway, while I do truly thank you for making a visually entertaining film, it still doesn't help the fact that the screenplay could've been better written by an inebriated Paris Hilton. That's not to say that I think your film was a complete disaster. I mean, you did after all have some outstanding shots and really smart camera matches that are rarely seen by many other directors (at least not as subtly). But it doesn't help that the watered-down storyline is further hindered by equally simplistic social commentary, which I don't want to blame you for. I mean, considering all of the masterful films in the past I'd hate to think that you'd have anything to do with a line like "So I'm guilty of violating Section 34DD?" Not to mention that all of the social/racial jokes made in the film have been picked out of the Hollywood rhetoric recycling bin and have probably been used in much more interesting ways previously as well. But once again, I don't blame you for any of this, because I understand that this is probably a stepping-stone and that you were really just trying to show Hollywood that you can after all make a blockbuster film. Congratulations for pulling that off, but next time, please make use of a better script. I hope you don't take this too hard, because I really am a big fan, and on the plus side, I'm sure in a month or so I'll forget I've ever seen this movie.

Sincerely,
Your Average Moviegoer

Overall Rating: 63